Some people don’t believe in star signs, but those people are idiots. Besides, you’ve heard yourself compared to a bovine one too many times for your birth date to be just some kind of random, meaningless coincidence.
So what’s in store for you this month, Taurus? Your ruling planet, Venus, is in retrograde so misunderstandings and miscommunications abound. This will lead to a quarrel with a friend, most likely about who was supposed to book tickets for the John Edward Live show you’ve both been looking forward to for months. And now it’s sold out. Bummer.
You will find your stubborn nature getting you into trouble this month. An epic stand-off between you and a black cat who keeps trying to cross your path will end in you obtaining several stitches as well as an official warning from the ISPCA, but at least you’re not cursed. Nice try, Mog!
When it comes to romance, this really isn’t a good time for you. In fact, it’s probably fair to say 2015 just won’t be a good year for you at all. Don’t try flirting or going on any dates, or throwing a cheeky arm around your crush at the cinema, these attempts can only have catastrophic results. Just accept that you’re in a bit of a slump, and will be for a while, ok? Maybe get a Netflix account, or take up gardening.
Steer clear of Scorpios this month. Interacting with anyone of this sign will instantly sour your mood and hamper the good vibes the universe is trying to send you. They’re sneaky cads who are not to be trusted and who take pleasure only in the suffering of others. And they don’t recycle. Seriously, fuck Scorpios.
You’re a creative and industrious type, and June will be a profitable month for you. Maybe start like, an Etsy shop selling beads or an artisan lemonade stand or something like that? Play the lotto. Pay close attention to fortune cookies. Your lucky number this month is 420. Blaze it.
Words: Megan Naughton
Image: Olga Anacka
Zodiac is a project with twelve different writers published over twelve weeks.
Olga is embarking of a project to illustrate idioms or phrases.
She wants to hear idioms and phrases from native English speakers and then to respond with art.